But the Ukraine never did join NATO. Indeed, they were rejected from joining NATO because NATO thought it would piss off Russia.

Also, why exactly does Russia have any right to demand anything of any other sovereign nation?

Your idea seems to be that Russia preemptively invaded Ukraine because they were worried that Ukraine might in future join NATO, which is rather like beating your wife up today because you fear in future she's going to get a gun to defend herself.

Seems morally empty to me!