I got turned on to this, the "Great Despoil" in 2001. (I just made the name up, though, from your comment.)

I suppose I am glad, you can't live in denial forever, but it casts a shadow over any hope I might have had for the future. Of course, age was running out the clock for me anyway.

So I understand very personally where you are coming from.

Fucking humans. I listen to something like Chopin and I used to think, "Well, perhaps it was all worth it for that," but now I'm thinking, "Was it all worth it, even for that?"