I laughed out loud.

Come on people. Maybe you don't know any African-Americans, but the rule is the same with all humans who care about their hair.

Say this: "Hey, you got a haircut!" with a big smile. Then look at their faces. Do they look distressed? Then wait for them to complain about their terrible hair and say nothing.

Otherwise, say, "Looks great!" and nothing else.

People are flattered when you notice. That's all you need to convey.

As for rubbing people's hair, here's the rule of them - would you expect them to react positively if you asked to touch their genitalia? If so, then asking to touch their hair is quite reasonable; otherwise, give it a miss.

NOTE: does not apply to Indonesians in their own country - very nice people but people who don't understand Western ideas on not touching other people or commenting on their personal appearance. They do it to everyone, regardless of color.