I love comedy articles, and yours is comedy gold, particularly this sentence.

Of course, no innuendo is needed — just the evidence of your own eyes. Republican governors have for the most part publicly downplayed the coronavirus and done little to contain it, while Democratic governors have listened to scientists and doctors.

Now Trump is saying the epidemic is less important than the stock market and wants to re-open everything in two weeks.

Unfortunately, your article meanders a lot into incoherent ranting, or it would be funnier. Still, it’s pretty funny to pretend that some rational adult would really have the ludicrous beliefs you pretend to lay out in your article, and I got a chuckle out of it.