Question — in these research studies, did they control for caffeine in the researchers? Did they try to replicate the effects using caffeine-free scientists as well?

Has it occurred to you that it might be observer bias by caffeine-addicted science workers — or even a conspiracy to promote their evil habit, in the same way that climate change scientists and environmentalists conspire to create a better planet because they selfishly want clean water and fresh air for the entire world?

(I hope you realize I’m kidding. Great article though.)