The other day I drank a glass of orange juice, I remember it still. It was very sour, and very sweet, and had bits of pulp in it. I finished the glass very slowly, it was almost too tasty to drink.

I love such experiences. But some point, not too far away now because I'm no longer young, I won't have these experiences anymore, I won't even have the memories of them, I won't have anything because I won't exist.

And I hate it.

The argument that I'm very unlikely to die this week is not very useful. One of the things you learn over time is that eventualities do always end up happening. To say, "It isn't happening now so it's not a problem," is like quitting your job today because the rent isn't due until the end of the month.

We had a very old dog who managed to cheerfully outlive the vets' predictions for years and years, but eventually she did not, and she had a peaceful death. Luckily, dogs are not time binders like humans: they have little conception of the future or the past.

Also, I didn't want to live forever, but you really don't get that much time on Earth. I could easily have had another few hundred years, just to explore all the things I didn't get to make enough progress on.

I would definitely not say I'm petrified by death. Most people think of me as very cheerful, but I would still say that I'm frightened of death, and I resent it, not that this is a very useful attitude!