Well, I figured the whole thing was witty without being contrafactual - i.e., you don't actually love the Studio like a long-lost brother - did I get the right tone?

I spilled coffee on my 8-year-old Macbook a few weeks ago. I'm still working on it, but the main screen is impaired (usable). I was hoping for a new MacBook Air from Apple, but no luck. Wait, none of this is funny.